Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
