Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
do herpes really smell.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
