belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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