Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
