he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
