Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
