Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Boobs speak an international language.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
