she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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