You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
