u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
