I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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