You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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