I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
