The police scanner is talking about you again....
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
