The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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