Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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