barbara walters just said penis...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
