Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
