i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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