i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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