He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
