THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize