We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
