Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
