He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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