Someone shit on the floor
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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