Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I understand Curling. That high.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
