morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
