It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
