I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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