dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
