I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
