the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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