i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
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