I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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