..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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