Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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