Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
