She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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