This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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