I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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