you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
