Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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