She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
