I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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