Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
