would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
