If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As shirtless as possible
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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