What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
