Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
