I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
