Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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