the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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