I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
