sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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