Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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