Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
