i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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