this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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