fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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