There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
