I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
