perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He kissed a someone with a penis
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
