I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
