Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
