I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
sarcasm needs its own font
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
