i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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